let me steal your heart


Hello there,

Perhaps you recognized my name and needed to know more about this cute Miyazaki fan? Or maybe you were drawn in by my green hair and hourglass shape? With tattoos that perfectly frame my curves, adorable butt dimples to admire, and impressive 42 inch hips, I’ll be your answer to life, the universe, and everything

Meet Calcifer Somerset, your soft quirky companion. My life’s ambition is simply being a stay at home cat dad. I love to wake up every morning to a home that fills me with joy and several fluffy creatures demanding cuddles; to crows cawing at my window for their breakfast peanuts, threatening to steal from my garden if I’m late

I cherish cozy days spent with the people I love, with a show on low in the background while we chat and work on crafts (Currently into embroidery, resisting urge to try bookbinding). While a homebody at heart, rare sightings may occur at queer art markets, kink nights, or at the park with my cat Raven. Or whenever my date decides to show me off

Whether you’re looking for a brief, hedonistic escape or a full day of respite from the world, I’m happy to facilitate. Let’s curl up together and watch our favorite films; wrap your arms around my soft curves while we watch Sophie and Howl fall in love. We can have some affectionate exercise before going out to dinner, or order takeout and play board games while we eat. Why don’t we share silly YouTube videos and challenge each other to see who laughs first? I promise, even if you consider yourself a Wildly Unlikeable Guy, you’ll feel comfortable and appreciated with me

Want to read more about me? Go check out my interview with Tryst.link

Quotes from Reviews 

“the beautiful, genuine, sensual, cuddle monster next door”

“They were very sweet and affectionate. Everything I needed to decompress from a crazy month”

“Things felt really relaxed and natural. And my cat likes them too” 

“This was my first time seeing a provider and Calcifer provided an amazing experience. They could tell that I wasn’t familiar with booking but guided me through the proper precautions. After I arrived at their very clean and upscale incall, they were absolutely amazing. Will book again” 

 “They were the best provider I’ve ever seen, hands down. Very chill person, with great taste in music, that had more energy than I could imagine. We had a 3 hour session that amazed me. Only bummer is that they are in Portland and I am not. 10 out of 10 provider!” 

“If you’re fortunate enough to have a special encounter with Calcifer, take your time, relax, enjoy and make sure they know they are appreciated”

Height: 5’4

Breasts: 30DD

Waist: 30″

Hips: 42″

Spoil Me

Want to make sure every time I think of you there’s a smile on my face? Gifts certainly aren’t required to accomplish that, but they definitely help

Small Gifts: chai latte, york peppermint patty, weed, macarons, cat toys, fuzzy socks

Some indie creators I adore, any piece from them would be loved: NimaSprout, Afternoon Fika, Crafted by Ari, Lianne Pflug, Clay Water Lily, Nadia Kim, Alythuh, Pikaole

Giftcard options: Evgenia, Studio Pia, Edge O’ Beyond, Lush, Chewy, Carmico, Rosen Skincare, Lunar Tides, Guardian Games, RainyLune

Send giftcards to calcifersomerset@pm.me

My wishlist for larger physical gifts